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Thursday, November 20, 2008

How could it possibly be 16 years ago, today,

that my grandmother died?

Because in my mind, she is still waiting in her warm, cheerful kitchen, with a huge hug. I see her in the kitchen window watching us come in the gate and meeting us at the front door. Of course, her mountain of a dog, Saki, is still in the yard running to meet us.

I miss this graceful, classy, wonderful woman every day. And as I write this, I am crying in my office... I got dressed this morning, knowing what today was the anniversary was. I can still see my mother coming in the front door to tell us she was gone. I put on the Winnie the Pooh necklace she gave me and hoped it would bring me a good day. It is a cold, snowy day. No snow accumulating but it is the biting cold that reminds me of Christmas at her house. Appropriate, don't you think?

Anyway, it seems like yesterday that she was with us and we all miss her, terribly. So much so, it seems, that I am having a hard time articulating it.

4 comments:

HappyWifeHappyLife said...

Oh, Amanda, I'm so very sorry. Losing a loved one is so very painful and difficult.
But (from the "glass is half full" file): think of the wonderful times and great memories your have of your grandmother. Unfortunately, I never knew either of mine. One of my gradmothers died before I was even born (my Mom's mom) and the other died when I was an infant... so the only "grandma" I knew was my step-grandmother.... and she lived over 1,000 miles away, so I rarely saw her growing up.

So, look back on those wonderful memories you have, tucked inside your heart, and smile and realize that your grandmother's spirit is still VERY much alive.... and let that help keep you warm and cozy today.

Peace and blessings to you.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Sorry you are down. That is the worst part of life...living without the ones we love and miss.
My Grandma is 95 and I am SO thankful that she is still around. I love her so much too.
take care,
SUZ.
ps. I love me some pooh too.

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

I feel your pain. Thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting, especially on a day like today for you. Sending you some comfort too. It seems we all need a little these days.

Designher Momma said...

thanks for a fantastically real post. praying for your pain tonight...